Hiking

I took my first real hike in Hawai'i on the island of Kaua'i. It took 7 hours (that's back and forth). Five years later and having moved to California and meeting my boyfriend, my list of hikes grew longer and even higher! To me, hiking is a good way to get exercise, channeling energy into positive thoughts, and appreciating nature. However, I think I fail to do the last two there. I find myself thinking of all sorts of things and ignoring most of the breathtaking nature around me, which I think is quite sad. On my last hike, while trudging along on the trail, I caught myself thinking of astrology (been reading up on it), work, life, stuff, how my feet are feeling, how I can't wait to head back and be home resting my body. What I really should be thinking about is all that's around me and live in the moment. But my friends, it is way harder than it sounds, to me at least. Well, at least I take lots of pictures and can retrospectively appreciate it, but even still, I know in my heart it is not the same.

Alterum Alterius Auxilio Eget (Each Needs the Help of the Other)

As I was leaving work one day, a tiny old lady (probably 4'8" tall) stopped me and asked if I was going towards the hospital across town. She had this cute accent I couldn't quite make out. Was it Italian? Anyway, I asked her why and she said she needed a ride home (which is near the hospital across town) because she missed the bus and she didn't want to walk home in this heat. She looked harmless (and unarmed) and I just couldn't say no to her. If I didn't take her home, what if she passed out because of heat stroke?! So I said, "Sure, I can give you a ride home." We walked to my car and after I got in, I looked over to the passenger side and noticed she had a little trouble getting in. She asked for my arm so she could anchor and pull herself up into my SUV. Once seated, she made a far reach just to shut car door but boy did she have muscle because she slammed it with no problem.

As we were riding, she asked many questions. What do you do? Are you married? What does your boyfriend do? Does he have a house? Oh you need to marry him! She also asked, "How old do you think I am?" I told her, "I bet you're older than you really look." I guessed 78 but she never confirmed. Somehow she avoided the question and went on to tell me other things about how she has no friends, how she longs for someone who understands her, how she's not close to her family, how she never trusted anyone enough to grow close to, etc. She then told me about her physical therapist/confidant who has been there for her but now feels that he's toying with her emotions. He calls himself her friend but won't give her his phone number and suggests that he'll call her but then never does. She thought it was absurd! How can he call himself her friend? So one day at church she told him, "You are NOT my friend," and she said this really got him mad. Then she looked at me and asked, "What do you think? What should I do? I should not have said that." Um, wait, you're asking me for advice?

At this point, we arrived in front of her apartment. She closed our conversation by asking if we could exchange phone numbers so we can talk and she can tell me her problems. I relunctantly took out my cell phone and started typing in her phone number. She asked if my number was long distance and I told her it was so then she quickly changed her mind.

I feel bad for this poor lady! She has no close friends or family and she sounds so lonely! And just as I'm typing this, I think I know what she needs: a therapist.

By the way, her accent was Lebanese. I asked.

P.S. The title of this blog is named after the motto of Phi Delta Chi. They are the Greek letters on one of my boyfriend's pens and that's what made me think of it. We really do need the help of others around us, whether we think it or not.

A love-hate relationship

I turn on the news to find out there are fires burning up in northern Calfornia. Sadly, a close friend of mine, her mom's house is in the evacuation area and 1 mile away from the fire (thank God right now it's moving away from her home). Luckily her mom was out of town when this happened but now is frantically driving back to see what's going on.

On the radio this morning, they played an audio clip of the Terminator (Arnold Schwarz.) officially delaring California in a state of drought.

I got an e-mail forward a few weeks ago with a well made slideshow that quizzed me on whether or not I knew what to do during an earthquake. There were 10 questions and I scored 50%; to me, this means I could've been dead. (Hey, we don't learn these things in school on the east coast). I took the quiz over and over until I got 100%.

Average price for regular gas (at the time that I'm writing this) in California: $4.49/gallon

Just last month though, we recommended to our guests various places that show off our pride and joy. The beach, the mountains, the wineries in Temecula are some examples and they loved them all.

Like I mentioned, it's a love-hate relationship and I guess I'm not moving anytime soon.

"Root, root, root, for the home team..."

NBA finals are on. Celtics vs. Lakers. Celts have won 2 out of the 7 games so far. Go Celtics! Can they win and add another championship banner to their already record breaking collection?

If you're from Connecticut, you don't have a professional home team to root for. Unless, you're still a Whaler fan and now they are no more. They didn't win any championships so the paraphernalia probably isn't worth anything right now. Ha! Anyway, that leaves the contiguous states of NY and MA to choose from. I chose the latter. I spent 6 years living in Boston so I've got a little place for them in my heart, you know? But if you talk to someone originally from Boston who is a hardcore fan (ie. Red Sox, Celtics), do not root against them in their face while you're at a game, unless you're ready for a fight. Seriously.

Now that I live in Southern California, I notice the locals here like their home team, but don't act like they REALLY like their home team. We went an Angels game once, and everyone is super nice and friendly, polite and the stadium is really clean and there aren't any super drunk obnoxious people screaming, etc. If you're in the bleachers at Fenway Park, you get the opposite. Fans are friggin' screaming (with their oh so refined accent), drunk off their asses, and if the Red Sox wins a really important game (let's say against the Yankees), some fans cannot control their damn selves! They start running the streets, jumping on cars, vandalizing crap, making noises all night at the bars until the sun comes up. If it's a victory at home for the Angels, everyone lines up calmly and walks to their car, drives and lines up in an organized fashion and leaves quietly...as if it were a practice fire drill! That's kinda of nice, too, though.

Nevertheless, I like being a Boston fan. I'll wear my Red Sox hat and t-shirt proudly to any baseball game (without the drunkardness and loud obnoxious comments). I usually watch games only if they're involved. Otherwise, I don't pay attention to a thing that's going on in the sports world. I know nothing about stats.

Can't wait to watch game 3 on Tuesday! Go Celtics!

FYI, that t-shirt is available on the Celtics website. Pretty ballsy, huh? The Laker website has nothing like that. See what I mean? Don't mess with a Boston fan.

Reunions

Okay, so when was the last time you saw your mom and dad? Me? Um, about 1.5 years ago. Yeah, I know. It's been THAT long. That's a long time for me! I talk to them almost everyday though so it's not like we don't keep in touch. But, I am happy to announce that they will be visiting me in July for the 4th and the week after. I am so excited! My parents have some plans of their own like, for example, they're going to my dad's high school reunion. He went to high school in Vietnam but they're having the celebration here in SoCal. Apparently, my high school is having their own reunion on July 25th but I don't think I'll be flying in for that. I'm depending on my friends who still live in CT to attend and then fill me in on all the updates of who's who and what's what. High school reunions...all they do is make you feel old!

Go Indians!

Suburbia

Gosh, I like visiting L.A. and hanging out with my friends but what I don't miss about city life is the driving, traffic, and coordination of figuring out where to eat and chill. I realize I liked doing that when I lived in the city and didn't own a car. That way, no worries about parking, you know? But, the flip side is that I do like the city and its variety. There's always something going on and something to do. Living in the suburbs has some of that but on a much smaller scale, I guess. I love where I live, though. It's got history, character, some culture, (the most Thai and Japanese restaurants in a 4 mile radius), free PARKING, and free summer shows in the local outdoor theater. I live 2.5 miles away from work (thus, only fill up my gas tank about once a month) and am able to enjoy the most kick ass view of the surrounding mountains, that's if L.A.'s smog doesn't make its way out here and screw it all up by covering it!

Live green people.

And we're back...

What made me decide to blog again is not clear. Maybe I felt the need to document my thoughts again. Or maybe I just wanted to have an outlet. Either way, it feels good.

..........

You know when your life has entered another chapter or stage when your friends start having babies. Just these past 3 months I've congratulated three mothers and there's another one on the way. My mom takes this as her cue to encourage me to "hurry up!". Dude, we'll be ready when we're ready! We're not even engaged, yet! And, I'm okay with that.

I know it's harder to bear children the older you get and all. But, I figure there will be ways to overcome that. Perhaps baby yoga?

On to other things...

If you guys wants to listen to a bumpin' new radio station based in LA, check out http://www.thesoundla.com/ and stream it in. It's an ecclectic mix of the past and present...

Until I blog again,

J Dogg

Before the kids come or when they do...

I am single. That just means that I am not married. I do, however, have a wonderful boyfriend that I absolutely adore that I know I want to marry and grow old and wrinkly with.

With that in mind, I want to let you know what I have learned from two friends who are both in their 40's. One is not married and the other, freshly divorced with three children (ages: 5, 12, and 16). I had lunch with them last weekend and tid-bits of our conversation popped into my young fresh mind today. We talked about remembering to do things that makes us happy, to take the time and spend it on what we truly enjoy. Coming from the mother of three, it meant that I need to enjoy the free time that I have NOW because once the kids come, I will not have it anymore. My friend who is not married agreed. However, she added that even when you do have kids, you have got to make some time for yourself because you never want to grow resentful towards your kids or husband. To me, that meant that when we have kids, I should still try to go to yoga once a week, have dinner with my girlfriends or go shopping by myself every once in a while. It is not selfish. It is simply a way to stay sane. By doing that, I will be a better wife and mother to my family.

So, today, on my day off, I went to Starbucks and spent $5.10 on a tall Eggnog Latte (seasonal) and their Pumkin Creamcheese Muffin. Oh, and for you gardeners, Starbucks will give you their coffee grounds by the bagful so you can maintain your greenthumb. So, I took a bag. I do not have a garden but my boyfriend does.

After Starbucks, I went to Marshalls to peruse but ended up with a great pair of black pumps (I like to call them Barbie shoes) for $29.99 and a great fleece that was originally $75 for only $10 (hey, it gets chilly at night even in southern California)! What a steal. Yeah, I would say I had a relaxing morning. What is next on my schedule for today?

Cold Feet?

A pen pal of mine, let's call her TD, e-mailed me the other day with an interesting question. Here is the situation...

TD is Vietnamese-French, born and raised in Paris, France. Her soon-to-be fiance is French, also born and raised in France. They have been dating for a little over a year and she is a little scared of how quickly things have progressed. She is wondering if cultural differences will ever become a problem in the future. She thinks she understands French culture very well since she has always associated with the French. But does he know her and her family well enough to understand Vietnamese culture? He did, though, have an opportunity to visit Vietnam earlier this year so he feels that he does. (Wait a minute, did France not colonize Vietnam at some time? We must have SOME things in common, do we not?) Her family has also tried to dissuade her by pointing out the cultural differences so now I am wondering if this is more so her family's fear than hers. All in all, she knows that he is the one for her and she trusts him with all of her heart, but she still wants to get an opinion.

In response to her e-mail, I requested that she and her fiance discuss exactly which cultural differences could be a problem. Exactly what was she afraid of? Religion? How they will raise their kids? How they will spend the holidays? Their roles as husband and wife? What is it exactly?

After sending the e-mail, I realized that the reason why 50% of marriages in the U.S. end up in divorce is because people simply do not talk enough about the future. Couples too often ignore problems or think they will be be able to figure them out as they "go along" but when the issues come up, it can put quite a strain on their marriage. I am not talking about basic stuff like: How many kids do we want? Where do we live? Who takes out the garbage? I am talking more about like, what if I want to quit my job and stay home with the kids? What amount of income do we think will be "enough" for us? How will we spend/save our money? How will we take care of our parents when they get sick? Would they live with us? How important is it to have children? Would we consider adoption if we could not have children?

The importance of these topics were brought to my attention not by my mother or girlfriends but by a book that my best friend bought for me. It is called, "The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You say 'I Do'" by Susan Piver. Ladies and gentlemen, please read this book if you and your significant other are considering marriage or commitment. Some of the questions are just plain fundamental and necessary. Check it out. You may be very surprised.

Not a Blog Virgin Anymore

I have two friends who blog. I find it hard to understand how they find time to blog but I suppose it's like making time to write in your diary, which I understand because I used to have a diary. I stopped writing in it because it took too much time; I could never write down my thoughts fast enough it seemed. But typing on a keyboard is never a problem. I learned how to type properly from a class I took in high school and I actually don't know a lot of people who have done this. However, I've learned from a few friends that they learned how to type very well on AOL as they feverishly chatted away.

It seems that being able to type efficiently or even computer savvy can get you ahead in this world. Everything revolves around computers nowadays so you better learn or else you're screwed, you know? People will just roll their eyes at you if you're expected to do something quickly but instead, you're pecking away at your keyboard with your two pointer fingers.

Oh, so why did I start blogging? I'm not one hundred percent sure. But I know that when I read my friends' blogs, it seems like a lot of fun. So, here goes...